I will always love youuuuuu...Justy-boy.

I have STUFF! to talk about at a later time...but I am all hyper and excited about something sooo....


wait for it....wait for it...


            HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY, JUSTIN!

You are one of my favorite guys on the entire planet...possibly my VERY favorite.  That is saying A LOT, because I have huge, ginormous, insanely large crushes on tons of different awesome fellows.  I mean, Jared Padalecki is pretty awesome and so is Chris Lowell, so you should be proud that I love you THE MOST. (Okay, you might be after Tyler Hilton in my love...oh, wait. I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T CHOOSE. I love you both equally but in different ways!)

You are wonderful.  I will never get over my love for you.  I love your curly hair, I love when you shave your head because your curls are INSANE, I love your big grin, I love your fantastic body, I love your beautiful voice, I love your laugh, I love that you're active in charities, I love how much you love golf, I love how you're now an actor, I love when you dress up like a gingerbread man on Ellen, and I love that I can always recognize your voice in a song.  You are my ideal man.  Keep being the way you are, because it's amazing.  <3333 

Now it's time for some old pictures! (Thanks, Google.  I stole these from you.)

The Model Behavior time period!!! I loved this time in his life.  :) He's so cute with the darker hair.  Mmmmm. I adored this movie, too. It's probably still on tape somewhere...I almost died when he kissed Janine/whatever her name was in the movie.  

The perfect time period for his hair.  Nerd alert: I used to fall asleep thinking about his hair and the way it bounced when he'd dance in concert.  Hahahaha.  I also fantasized about running my hands through it.  CURLS. I LOVE CURLS. <3333 HEARTS FOREVER.  Okay, I'm done.

NOT.

Ohhh, the beginning days of *NSYNC (I am not sure if it's spelled that way or 'N Sync or 'NSYNC or NSync or WHAT, but the star makes it ~special.)  I feel like I should recognize this concert immediately, but I can not say for sure. PATHETIC, Kasi, seriously. I need to re-watch tapes, ASAP.  UGH, HIS HAIR. IT SLEIGHS ME.  

I'm truly done now.  Love you forever, JT.

My heart is set on you, I don't want no one else...

* I'm feeling a little rough this morning.  I've been sniffly for a couple of days, but I thought it was just allergies.  Now, I've decided it's probably a cold.  Yay...how fun.  So I'm spending the day relaxing (but really, what else do I ever do?) and watching tv.  Colds suck.  (The ep of How I Met Your Mother I watched this morning included a sick Barney...so that was neat.  Barney and I are both awesome, duh.)


* I can't stop watching The Office.  I've finished rewatching season 1 and I have 3 episodes left of the second season.  It's so good...I literally never stop laughing.  Favorite character: Toby. Always.


* I also can not stop listening to Garrett Hedlund's songs from Country Strong.  IT IS A PROBLEM.  Ugh...they are so good.  His voice is beautiful, in a really deep, growly Southern way.  Favorite song: Chances Are. OBVIOUSLY.


* COUNTRY STRONG: SO GOOD.  The end. Except...I need it. Now.  I love Beau Hutton, he is beautiful and tries so hard to be mean and tough but really he is kind and gentle and so cute.  And Chiles...precious and so pretty.  Sad, sad, sad but I've always liked sad movies.  Tim McGraw was a little too scruffy but I felt bad for his character.  Ugh, the music was amazing also.  I always like movies more if they have a great soundtrack, haha.


* I think I might go watch Four Brothers soon.  I mean, talking about Garrett Hedlund is inspiring me to watch it.  It's so sad, though. Do I feel like being depressed? Hmm.


* Speaking of my new obsession with Garrett Hedlund, he is my new background.


* I want everything on Etsy that says "I carry it in my heart" from E.E. Cummings.  Too bad everything is like, $40+...foiled again! I am thinking of a tattoo.  Why? I will never do it, but why am I even thinking about it? I think the winter weather is making me crazy.


* I'm working on my bucket list.  I visualized my life in 5 years a few nights ago...I discovered that I mostly just want to be married to the best man in the world who adores me and makes me breakfast, have a cute baby girl, drive a SUV, live in a country cottage, and be a stay at home mom. Anyone surprised?  I'm not.  In my head I want flowers everywhere in the cottage...so that WAS surprising.  


* On the job front: I should have a job interview in a week or two...hopefully.  In the meantime, my friend asked me to babysit 1-5 on Mondays.  :) I love her baby, so I'm pretty happy about this.  I really miss teaching though.  i had a dream that I was at a school last night and I got a chance to read a short book to 4th graders.  Now I miss it so much.  My heart hurts. :(


Okay, time to go watch more of The Office!

Babysitting and Fighting

Hello! There is no one reading this, but okay.
I had a good day.  I watched a lot of tv, I did not go job hunting like I should have because it was rainy and gross and I just didn't feel like it.  But I did an hour of dancing on the Wii! Yay.  I also babysat for 3 hours.
I love babysitting Ethan.  He's wonderful.  He is always smiling and bouncing around.  He remembered me from when I watched him in October :)  It was cute.  He played on his firetruck (stood on it, haha), we read stories, he watched some Elmo, played in his ball pit, I fed him and he threw some food on the ground, he rolled balls on the table, he pooped once.
Funny story about when he pooped: I knew he'd only be okay with taking off his diaper if he could hear Justin Bieber's Baby song, so I played that and tried to get his diaper off.  He refused to let me, so I had to distract them, but then once I had it half off, he rolled somehow and the poop came out.  Great.  So I cleaned that up, put it in the diaper, and wiped his butt.  It was an ordeal putting a new diaper on, I had to repeat the song.  He had a meltdown when I tried to snap his onesie, and I could not put his pants back on. I had to hold him in my arms, bounce him on my hip, and sing Baby to him to get him to stop crying. :(  After all that, he was fine.
He discovered the baby powder after that, and I thought it was covered...but it wasn't.  So that got all over the couch and floor.  It was fine, but it smelled like baby powder, hahahaha.
I miss babysitting/nannying.  Best job ever, really.  I love being around babies and little kids.  SOMEONE HIRE ME TO WORK WITH CHILDREN.
As soon as I came home, it's been down hill.  My night sucks.  I really can't talk about anything because it'll end up being a huge deal but...yeah.  I hate fighting.  It is stupid and pointless and makes everyone angry.  We don't even solve anything, we just talk around and around the issue.
I'm over it.  I want to move out.
Good: my dogs are cuddling with me, I am going job hunting tomorrow, I have great friends who try to help me, God loves me.


I'll end on a semi-positive note.  <333

I probably should work on not sounding like such a whiny teenager all the time.

Savannah: Your tweets have been making me sad lately.
Me: They're mostly Taylor Swift lyrics...sometimes they don't even directly relate to me, I just have them in my head.
Savannah: Still...some of them I know you mean, and that is sad.


Yeah, typical dinner conversation with Savannah.

I need a job ASAP.

There is really nothing going on in my life that is exciting.  It's snowy, I'm a lazy bum, you know how it goes.
1. I have applied for 4 jobs now...have only heard back from one person.  Might have an interview in a few days for a nanny job.  I applied for another nanny job tonight...who knows. It said a nanny was needed ASAP, so hopefully that one will work out.  It's for a 6 mo old boy...sounds fun.
2.  My teeth hurt. The dentist is BRUTAL, but I love it.  They always make me feel like a good tooth-brusher...which I am.  I take it very seriously.  Also, I have a light pulse? They always say this.  I don't know what that means, but okay.
3.  I want to move out VERY BADLY. Yeah.
4. My dog is lying on my perpetual bruised knee (I fell down stairs 2 years ago and got a huge bruise and it, like, dented my bone, sooo now it hurts all the time).  UGH.  She's lucky she's so cute.
5. I can't stop researching weddings. I'm a MOH and so I've been trying to figure out bridal shower ideas and stuff.  Well, then I got sucked into wedding toasts and poems and then I got all weepy about not being in love and listened to Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans on repeat.  Why does no one want to date me? I'm a catch, obviously.
6.  Someone stop me from watching Twilight and New Moon every time they are on tv.  It's getting absurd and I really don't even like the movies.  It's pathetic. 
That's all.  EXCEPT...I am always a ISFJ when I take that one personality test.  ALWAYS.  Which means I am a Guardian Protector and I really just think it makes me sound like I should be a social worker and basically take my work home with me.  I'm loyal, conservative, traditional, and my shyness comes off as cold.  AWESOME.  Even if some of that sucks, it's still 100% me.  
Now I might go write something depressing and sucky about every year that I've liked you.  Or read this romantic book about a vet and an international lawyer who fall in love during a snowstorm.  Okay, bye.


PS- I need a haircut.  I think I'm going to get it cut chin-length, with layers. Hopefully that won't look terrible in a few months.  

Ryan Gosling is ADORABLE.

This made me very happy as well. Like, he gives everyone ONESIES. HE WEARS A ONESIE WHILE EXERCISING WITH ELLEN. No one is cuter, I'm convinced.

PRECIOUS. I need more things like this in my life.

This made me happy today...

Boyce Avenue is AMAZING.  Amanda and Ron (old roomies) told me about him yesterday, and I loved his covers.  This song is soooo good.  I love Michael Jackson, I adore this song, and he does a great job covering it.  I mean, it's pretty tough to cover MJ.  :)

This was written Jan 5 (Wednesday) but it wouldn't post...

There are THINGS to talk about...not important THINGS but still, THINGS! Big deal because really, my life is rather boring. 

• First of all, the Backstreet Boys were on Oprah today.  My mom called me into the room to watch with her.  I LOVE THEM.  Kevin was there! (He seems really creepy to me, but still, he’s awesome. Yeah.)  I was giddy over Nick Carter, and Brian is precious. PRECIOUS.  I knew immediately that they’d sing I Want It That Way (I have a knack for knowing what boy bands are gonna do...what a great talent, hahaha).  ALKOINVPKLNVE I love I Want It That Way.  I had flashbacks to 6th grade BSB concert for my birthday, and when I watched their Disney Concert special over and over and OVER.  I was in love with Brian, then realized he was married and got over that one when I was older.  I must admit that I have a deep, absurd love for Nsync and NOTHING will EVER change that, but BSB is still fantastic.  Thanks, Oprah, my weird crush on Nick is know growing again.  

• Since I saw BSB on Oprah, I was inspired to upload my BSB cds to my MAC.  Yeah, I’m a dork. But a very awesome dork.  And now I am listening to their Black and Blue cd...not my favorite, but I’m amused that I still know most of the words. LOL.

• Last night I went to Comedy Off Broadway with Rachel and Rebecca (bestie and her sis) randomly.  A friend from high school was doing a stand up comedy thingy, so we figured we’d go.  It was AWKWARD.  Like, everyone was smoking and we have a very innocent, dorky sense of humor.  They got coffee (decaf, haha) and I got a Diet Pepsi.  We party hard, huh? I laughed occasionally at the non-perverted jokes.  Most of the time I felt like hugging these ridiculous boys who felt the need to be so dirty.  My favorite comedian was this ADORABLE old man wearing a track suit (PRECIOUS. I MEAN REALLY.) who told a story about wanting to be an elementary teacher (LOVE. IT.) and having this little girl pee the first day he was volunteering.  It was funny AND adorable.  The best kind of joke! :) I really wanted to hug that man.  So yes, I have been to Comedy Off Broadway once in my life and I stayed 2 hours longer than I probably shoud have, hahaha.

* Came home last night and I had this weird email from Hiredbook.com or something.  It looked legit, and I applied for a job on a weird website so I thought maybe I needed to do this to get a job? I don’t know, I’m a moron.  So I went to this website that said I needed a credit report, so I put in my information.  Found out it was a scam and now they are going to charge my credit card $30 a month for NOTHING.  I tried to call the number but the only way I could talk to a PERSON was to give my credit card # again...so not legit.  SO my dad is gonna have to talk to the credit card company and either cancel it or I don’t even know.  I HATE FEELING LIKE A MORON.  WORST FEELING EVER.  

• My dogs would NOT go outside or come downstairs today.  Very strange.  It was really worrying me, because I had to CARRY Marley downstairs to go outside.  Bixby would not come up the deck stairs, I had to open the basement door to get them to come inside.  They NEVER act like that.  I do not understand.  I’m blaming this horrible Bark-Off thing my mom bought so the dogs won’t bark.  Bixby is terrified of it.  It makes me ridiculously angry.  

• I want to see Water for Elephants.  Random, yes, but tis true.  I was just thinking about hot Robert Pattinson looks in the trailers.  I also want to own Remember Me.  Once I get a working card to buy it with...aelaoivneoa.  My debit card isn’t activated and I don’t know if I need to cancel my credit card.  What does this section even have to do with anything? I guess that I like Robert Pattinson (as long as he’s not a vampire, ewww.)

• I’m going to Morehead tomorrow to visit my old roomies! I’ve been researching bridal shower and bachelorette party ideas.  Can’t wait until their wedding! (Reminder: Need to pick up bridesmaid dress. Also, LOSE WEIGHT.) 

• Exercise...I was going to walk on the Treadmill this morning, but it wouldn’t turn on.  Therefore I had to use my Dance It Off DVD...which is completely ridiculous.  I can’t dance.  The instructor says things like “More bounce to the ounce!” and other cheesy things.  I only do the Hip Hop workout and sometimes the Jazz one.  I CAN NOT do the Latin section AT ALL, I look like a total loser.  It’s just too much rhythm (I can never spell this word.  IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO SPELL.) for me...I got my dancing skills from my dad.  He can’t dance at all.  I pride myself on my slow dancing skills, but that’s all.

• Friday afternoon I’m getting a haircut :)  YAAAAY! It’s getting pretty horrific and I haven’t had a haircut since like, April.  Anddd now everyone knows just how gross I am.  I don’t know how short I should cut it...hmm.  Pondering will have to commence.

• No one will contact me about a job. :( Very depressing. I want to get a decent job and move out! Although, I will miss dinner being cooked for me every night and my dogs.  I can’t forget my DVR, too. And I guess my family occasionally.  Hahaha.

* How am I always giving out relationship advice when I never have relationships myself?! What is this? Those who can’t do...advise? Hahahaha.

* I’ll finish on a dorky note...I love Michael on General Hospital.  He is SO SAD and SO CUTE and SO HEROIC.  <3333 Anyway, I also love his current love interest, Abby, the stripper with a heart of gold.  LOLOLOL...but yeah.  It took them FOREVER to go on a date, and I’m so into their story right now.  Well, he went on a ski trip that ended up in TRAGEDY...but before this, he was talking to this girl, Alli (Ally? I don’t know) who likes him and I didn’t like her at first, but she is adorable and his age and IT IS PRECIOUS TOO.  So of COURSE, she hit her head and denied it hurting and her brain was BLEEDING THE WHOLE TIME so she’s probably dead.  HATE.  Why couldn’t some other minor character die in the crash? Stupid.  General Hospital hates me. 

You are all that I waited for all of my life...

2011 is already fantastic! 


I spent my NYE celebrating my best friend's engagement! How I feel about this: akvneoaivneaovneinavoekevlknaeone I can't even put it into words.  It's crazy! I LOVE IT.  It's making me giddy with happiness! I want to research weddings and help her pick out her dress and colors and make her wedding playlists of songs that remind me of her and Brett.  Basically, it's making my whole life happier.  There is nothing better than weddings.  


(Cute story: Her sister brought her coffee and a card from him that morning.  She spilt coffee all over herself and had to change before she could get engaged. HAHAHA. Also, she had to drive all the way to her house, where there were balloons everywhere and then he proposed.  So cute! They are PRECIOUS.)


They also had a delicious cake that I got to eat, so that was awesome.  They certainly know how to throw a party...cake and balloons and board games, oh my. :)
CONGRATS, RACH AND BRETT!! 


Speaking of weddings, I need to start planning a bridal shower and bachelorette party for my friend Amanda.  I've never been a maid of honor before, and it's making me kind of a wreck.  Too much stress!   


Other things that are less exciting:
1.  I got to see one of my favorite babies in the world twice this weekend...Alice! She's precious.  Kelliott makes cute kids.  She drooled all over me and kept trying to play with candles.  She's such a genius already.
2. I finally started writing thank you cards tonight.  I only have 2 more left...I just need addresses to send them.  
3. Interestingly, I haven't been to the bank to deposit the checks that I received for graduation.  That probably needs to happen.
4. I'm going back to school tomorrow to get my CT to sign my timecard.  I'm a moron and didn't see that they were supposed to sign on the back. OY.
5. Job search begins intensely tomorrow! Subbing, daycares, babysitting, random office job of suckiness...I don't care what I do as long as I am out of this house and making some money.
6. Super stressed about my future life right now.  I've been praying for clarity and a revelation to what God wants me to do.  I want to follow His path, not what I want or think I need.  
7. I have decided nothing is going to change in my life if I do not start taking some risks.  THere is a major thing I'm talking about, but most things in my life are not as great as I'd like just cause I'm afraid of change, rejection, looking dumb, or taking a risk and possibly failing.  I will be brave.


Random deep(ish) blog. Go me! 


Tomorrow I will try to write more about my best friend.  She deserves a great post about how wonderful she is and how happy I am for her.  I will try to be less insane and more coherent.  :)